No Personality

Originally, this post started out with me writing about friendships, and how most of them fail due to actions of both parties, although most people like to blame it on the other person. I’m a firm believer in accepting the fact that I am human, far from perfect, constantly making mistakes. I am awesome and weird. I like to think I’m unique, or at least as unique as one can be nowadays. I am one of a kind.

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All The Emotions

Yesterday’s Arts Walk was intense, to say the least. I knew it was going to be a lot of work, but I had no idea of the events that would unfold. The last few have been rained out, and I was hoping that wouldn’t happen again, because I had been planning this for so long. Well, instead it was 95 degrees and clear, with the sun beating down on us, and no shade whatsoever in the Artist’s Lot.

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Weighing in on Weight

A few weeks ago I began the journey to a healthier me. As a kid and a teenager, I always felt self conscious about the fact that I was bigger than a lot of other kids my age. I wasn’t necessarily fat, I was just bigger and taller. As I got older, I was pretty happy with my size, even though I was still bigger than my best friend, who was 6 inches shorter than me and a size 4/5. She was very athletic, always into sports and running, and I was not.

Physical education was the class I dreaded most in junior high, because of my asthma. After a few small asthma attacks, I ended up getting a doctor’s note to excuse me from running the mile, but I still hated having to play any sports in class, because I am so uncoordinated. Eventually, I was excused from P.E. altogether, and would sit in the library doing reports for my teacher.

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The Red River of Rage

I’m going to start my period on Monday. If you’re uncomfortable with this knowledge, I suggest you leave now.

Do you want to know how I know? For one, I recently went back on birth control, as a way to regulate my extremely random cycles. The other way that I know, is because in a failed attempt to take apart our Brita pitcher for cleaning this morning, I began to cry and also rage, wanting to throw it through a window and be done with it.

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The War on Weight

Last night my husband mentioned to me that we received the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. A few years ago, this would have bothered me. I would have been upset that he announced it to me, as well as that he felt the need to even look at it. Most of you probably realize, as a subscriber to Sports Illustrated, the Swimsuit Edition is automatically included. We don’t pay extra for it. We don’t go out of our way to make sure we receive it. And if I just happened to throw it away, he wouldn’t miss it.

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Infertility and Creativity

I mention on my About page that my husband and I are living child free, not by choice. This is something that he and I have been going through together for 4 years now. This month marks the 4th year since we began trying to start a family. Almost immediately we both began to worry that something was wrong. I felt so defeated every time my period would arrive. I had been so hopeful that I was going to be pregnant, because my period was always late. Turns out, I was having anovulatory cycles. This, as well as many other issues, all add together to mean we can’t have kids.

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