No Personality

Originally, this post started out with me writing about friendships, and how most of them fail due to actions of both parties, although most people like to blame it on the other person. I’m a firm believer in accepting the fact that I am human, far from perfect, constantly making mistakes. I am awesome and weird. I like to think I’m unique, or at least as unique as one can be nowadays. I am one of a kind.

Over the years, I have taken the Myers Briggs personality test multiple times. I usually take it once every few years. Not once has it given me the same answer, and not once has it given me the personality that I think I have. Now whether that is because I don’t like what it tells me, or just because I think it’s inaccurate, I could not tell you. Is it supposed to 100% relate to who you are? Or maybe 75%? I don’t know. What I do know, is that over the past 8 months I have really started to figure myself out, mostly on my own, and with a little help from my husband.

I have always had trouble making and keeping friends. I also lose friends fairly easy. I don’t know if they lose interest or I chase them away, but one way or another, they disappear. Some I have lost due to distance and their (or sometimes my) inability to keep in contact.

But I also have some traits that may or may not be a bad thing, depending upon how they are looked at, who they are looked at by, and how much said person is willing to put up with while also having to admit their own shortcomings.

So, here goes nothing –

I am blunt and brutally honest. I believe that honesty is more important than making sure someones feelings are not hurt. This is a great quality but it’s also a horrible quality. I have lost friends due to my bluntness, my inability to sugarcoat the truth, and my carelessness with my honesty. My sister and I have had rough patches in our relationship due to this quality as well.

I care too much. Sometimes this becomes a problem, because others don’t return the caring. This can be as simple as sending a text message to a friend and them not responding. I continue to care even after their disregard for my feelings. I continue to care when I am shunned, not invited to things, or even completely ignored.

I am an introvert, who likes to be around people. Weird, I know. It has to do with my restlessness. I love my friends and I want to be around them, but sometimes it’s hard because it’s draining. But when I opt out of plans to stay home, I become restless and wish I had gone along.

I refuse to give up on people. I’ve had some pretty gnarly fights with some of my friends. Some have left us giving the silent treatment for years. YEARS. But I always find myself caring and wanting to message them to see how they are, to hang out and catch up, to inevitably care too much (again).

What are some of your qualities that do double duty as good and bad?


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